Making Your Child’s Problems, Phobias, and Limiting Beliefs Disappear

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Reframing comes in two forms: reframing the content and reframing the context.

Reframing the content is simply changing one’s focus. So, if your daughter comes home and says her teacher was not treating her fairly. She said that he assigned her the most difficult topic on the list for a project the students need to do. After you talk a bit, you realize the teacher is trying to challenge her more.

You explain that she has very high marks in the class and that the teacher is simply challenging her because he wants to see her excel. Your daughter hadn’t really seen it in this way before and once she does, she adopts a different content frame through which to view the situation.

Reframing the context means to take the behavior and look at it in light of the context in which it was used. In other words, it’s not what they are doing, but when and/or where they are doing it. Getting up and dancing in the middle of the school assembly is not appropriate, but getting up and dancing at the school dance is.

The best thing to do when your child has a behavior that is not good is:

  1. Assume good intent. If you assume they meant to do something bad, then they might end up continuing on with bad behavior or becoming defensive. It is better to assume positive intent and then lead them from there.
  2. If the behavior needs a reframing of content, then you can find out what that positive intention is and you can work with your child to find a different behavior that would meet the same need.
  3. If the behavior needs a reframing of the context, then you can sit with your child and discuss a more appropriate context for the behavior, i.e. a better time and place for the behavior.

Another problem that children deal with every bit as much as adults do is phobias and limiting beliefs. That’s right! Fears can plague a child and for that the metaphor is an ideal way to help your child deal with that fear. The metaphor is great because it connects with and communicates with the subconscious mind. You can also use the metaphor to relate to your child’s map of the world. This can be in the form of a story, an allegory, or an analogy.

The key is to keep in mind that your child is doing the best they can with what they have. Your job is to help them find better tools and a different outlook so that they can alter their behavior appropriately. This will create a happier, healthier child and a better relationship between you and your child.

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2 Responses to “Making Your Child’s Problems, Phobias, and Limiting Beliefs Disappear”

  1. Shirl

    09. May, 2011

    Good point. I hadn’t thuoght about it quite that way. :)

    Reply to this comment
  2. Keys

    10. May, 2011

    That’s way the besetst answer so far!

    Reply to this comment

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