How to Help Your Teen To Achieve Positive Behavior

Bookmark and Share

I am going to teach you a new method that you can use with your child called transderivational searching, which will help you to really get to the root of the negative behavior.  By now your child should feel a level of trust with you, and you should have the lines of positive communication open.  That means that now it’s time to get to the heart of the matter – the negative behavior that has been causing such problems in your child’s life.

Example: Negative behavior: your child has been smoking.

You sit down to speak with him and use transderivational searching to determine why this behavior is happening.

You ask, “Why did you smoke the first time?”

He says, “Because someone offered it to me.”

You keep asking questions such as the following:

  • Why did you say yes?
    • Because everyone likes him, he’s cool.
  • Would he be your friend if you said no?
    • I don’t know.
  • Think back to before you tried to smoke.  Did you have friends then?
    • Yes.

You can continue to ask questions.

  • Do your old friends like you?
  • Would they like you, even if you said no to something they offered?
  • Imagine you were never offered a cigarette.  What would your life be like?
  • How do you feel when you smoke?
  • Do you like smoking?
  • How can you rid your life of smoking?

These questions are designed to get your child thinking about what it would be like if the “reason” for the behavior wasn’t there.  This allows your child to see that they have friends, and have made friends in the past without having to resort to doing something that is physically harmful to them.

They can imagine having friends without smoking, and can see a way to get rid of smoking.  In the end, you can discuss strategies with your child and help them form a plan for success.

If you like my post, I am very sure that you will love my ebook on the Secrets of Success For Teens on

Please note that if you want to post my article on your website, it has to be fully intact with my author name , Rachael Mah and website url on my article .

Leave a Reply